Dana Schwartz is a 26-year-old American author and journalist…and kind of a genius for coming up with this new “business venture”.
If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019
For the low low price of $50, she’ll show up to your funeral to stand in the back with a black umbrella making everyone think you died with a “dark and interesting secret.” And yes…Twitter is not disappointing with the responses.
Do you do birthday parties? I'm not sure I can wait until I'm dead.
— Anthony Lahr (@anthonyplahr) January 9, 2019
I’m also gonna need you to arrange it so that if people walk toward you to talk to you, that a bus will pass in front of you and then you’ll be gone.
— Mark Oehlert (@moehlert) January 6, 2019
How much to arrange for a solemn child to hold your hand at the same time?
— Robin Hart-Jones (@Roblex) January 5, 2019
Ill give you $75 if when the casket is going down you walk over and place a small box on top and say only loud enough for a few people to hear "if they only knew"
— dick (@spursyyank) January 5, 2019
Or how about as the burial ends, taking out your phone, ringing someone and just saying “it’s done” before pausing & hanging up, then just turning and walking away?
— Dave Nevett (@_GLB) January 5, 2019
Turns out, she is just trying to sell her book.
ok don't actually venmo me you guys, just buy my book https://t.co/Y31jAAll8f
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 4, 2019