For the last month, Lori Loughlin has grappled with the charges against her in the high-profile college admissions cheating scandal, a source close to the actress tells PEOPLE.

“It’s just taking some time for it to sink in that what she was allegedly doing could be considered illegal,” says the source. “To her, it wasn’t egregious behavior. Was it entitled and perhaps selfish? Perhaps. But she didn’t see it as being a legal violation.”

“From the beginning, she didn’t want to take a deal, because she felt that she hadn’t done anything that any mom wouldn’t have done, if they had the means to do so,” the source continues. “So this wasn’t her being obstinate; this was her truly not understanding the seriousness of the allegations.”

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