Jake

  

Photos courtesy: Lucky Bunny Photography, Location: Toast on Market
     
 
 
Me in a nutshell?  Let’s start off with the fact I don’t believe in consequences.  If there’s something I want to do, I do it – damn the torpedoes.  I’m low key, but the life of the party.  I’m apathetic, yet insanely passionate.  I’m intelligent and still do ridiculously stupid things.  Basically, I’m a walking contradiction.  I’m a social drinker who knows his limits…at least that’s what I like to tell myself.  Want to know more?  Let’s go get a drink and make some bad decisions.
by Jake posted Nov 3 2014 3:41PM





Let me start out by saying I'm a 12 year old trapped in a semi-grown man's body. If something immature is happeneing, I either caused it, laughed at it, or am a huge proponent of it. This example is no different. If you haven't seen The Jake ​Vale Show and its (CENSORED!) series, you are doing yourself an extreme injustice. Here is FROZEN (CENSORED!). Enjoy the ridiculousness. I know I did.

by Jake posted Oct 28 2014 10:53AM



I would rank OK Go as a midlevel indie rock band.  They aren't great, they aren't terrible.  But they make some of the best music videos I've ever seen.  Check the new post for, "I Won't Let You Down."  It's pretty fantastic.  
 
by Jake posted Oct 21 2014 11:50AM



 
Let's just get this out of the way - Jimmy Fallon is the best.  However, we all know his propensity for laughing during his skits (ahem, anything he ever did on SNL) and his interviews.  When Bradley Cooper stopped by to promote his leading role on Broadway's, The Elephant Man, things took quite a turn into hysterics.  My favorite line from the interview is, "It's not funny; this guy was horribly deformed."  Yet neither one can regain their composure.

 

Here's what actually aired.  It isn't much better.  

 


Further proof Jimmy Fallon is the best - he can laugh even while talking about very heavy subject matter.  
by Jake posted Oct 9 2014 5:26PM




I always thought Jessie J had a phenomenal voice.  Apparently I was wrong...

 
 

So, what happened?  Hopefully this is a hoax...
by Jake posted Oct 6 2014 2:58PM


Here was my weekend...

I went to the Gauley River for the dam release in West Virginia to white water raft.  Most of the time it was fun, however, here is a progression of pictures that illustrate how I became a member of the Gauley River Swim Team.

Everything was fine; we were approaching Pillow Rock.  That's where you reach out and touch your paddle to a very large rock while trying not to fall out of your raft.







Then I notice things starting to go awry. Mostly because the raft is about to flip over...



Not good!  This is not good!  Oh wait, why am I under the raft?



After at least 4 minutes of being trapped under the raft (ok, it was more like 4 seconds) I emerged back to fresh air and all was well.  In short, I had an amazing time.  Thanks Bob Bowman (who teaches at Mercy Academy, talk about a small world) for being the best guide on the Gauley!
by Jake posted Aug 27 2014 5:00PM


Is it weird I want to do this?  I mean, I know it's weird I want to do this, but...is it weird I really, really want to do this?  These facial expressions are hilarious.  However, I think the last guy actually enjoyed his taser-ing...

by Jake posted Aug 25 2014 4:24PM


Ok, I knew it was coming. I was nominated for the Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness for ALS. Being a man of integrity, I followed through. Being not super masculine, I made some strange noises...

The Setup...


The Aftermath...
 
Learn more and donate HERE!
by Jake posted Jul 16 2014 3:00PM


Thank you, "Weird Al" Yankovic for the following masterpiece.  I cannot stand when people use improper grammar.  It isn't that difficult.  Pay attention to the lyrics, mouth breathers...

by Jake posted Jun 19 2014 11:09AM



Ok, wait, that headline was a bit misleading.  Check out this picture of Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield leaving a diner and turning the tables a bit on the paparazzi.  Well played.  

by Jake posted Jun 13 2014 11:50AM



Let me start by saying Michael Keaton is one of my favorite actors.  I mean come on!  Beetlejuice, Johnny Dangerously, Jackie Brown, his turns as a villain in Pacific Heights and Desperate Measures, his great comedic timing in Multipicity and The Other Guys, and, of course, Batman.  Speaking of Batman, Keaton's new movie, Birdman, is about a washed out actor who was once famous for playing a superhero and is now trying to stay relevant.  Hmm, that sounds familiar...check out the trailer below.  I can't wait for October!


by Jake posted Jun 10 2014 2:50PM



This is the type of fairy tales I'd like to see!  Marilen Adrover has an, uh, interesting artistic interpretation of classic story characters.  I have to say, I really dig it!  Who knew I liked art?  Look at me, growing and whatnot...

 

 
by Jake posted May 20 2014 4:51PM



For some reason they thought it was a good idea to send me to Hangout Music Fest in Gulf Shores, Alabama.  Let me just say I took full advantage of the situation...

There were drinks a-flowing, the tunes were amazing, the atmosphere...ridiculous.  Oh, and we threw a beach party every night on the beach fully equipped with DJ WoO on the 1's and 2's.  I think this picture sums everything up nicely (yes, that's me twice in the same picure and no, Photoshop did not accomplish this task):



Can't wait until next year...
by Jake posted May 5 2014 6:15PM



If you were curious as to what I was doing for Derby week, it included a lot of the following...dancing, imbibing, overall shenanigans.  You know, what typically happens Derby week.

 
 
Video Courtesy of Fillies & Stallions
by Jake posted Apr 14 2014 1:55PM



 
This is why I'm glad I'm not a criminal from the 1920s.  First off, I don't have the impeccable fashion sense.  Secondly, if I ever saw this guy, I would have to change my pants.  Twice.  
 

 
Photo Courtesy of The Meta Picture
by Jake posted Apr 3 2014 2:25PM



Judge for yourself, but I'm pretty sure they just caught a chupacabra in Texas.  Although the "expert" says it's a canine of some sort (dog, coyote, or fox) with mange.  Come on, I've never seen a dog use its paws like that to eat.  Next up...Sasquatch!!

 
 
Video Courtesy KABC-TV
 
by Jake posted Mar 25 2014 3:27PM



I really wish I was clever enough to make a joke about Farrah Abraham recording a song called, "Blowin'."  But, alas, this is a real thing.  I have two words for you: DON"T WATCH.  This isn't even comically bad.  It's just...just bad.  

 
 
by Jake posted Mar 20 2014 6:28PM



This is really awesome, but it also seems this guy has a lot of time on his hands.  

 
 
by Jake posted Mar 17 2014 2:16PM



Ok, I'm not saying I wouldn't be a bit unnerved if I experienced an earthquake.  In fact, I probably would have to change my pants at least 3 times.  I just think this video is hilarious because the female anchor was going to keep on trucking through the broadcast while the male anchor looked like he was in the middle of prostate exam... 

 

Video Courtesy of YAHOO!
by Jake posted Mar 13 2014 10:35AM
This is both really cool, and a little bit terrifying.  The best German Ping Pong player taking on a robotic arm in a friendly game of table tennis.  I will say the robotic arm is a bit unfair with its seemingly unlimited reach, which allows it to stay stationary while running the human back and...wait, am I really breaking down the fairness of a robot playing Ping Pong?  It's a freaking ROBOT!  Of course it isn't fair.  Just watch the video...

 
 

By the way, suck it robots.  Humans win again!  For now...
by Jake posted Mar 10 2014 3:15PM
To celebrate the 74th birthday of the #1 badass of all time, here are the Top 10 Moments of the one and only Chuck Norris. 

 
 
Courtesy of watchmojo

By the way, Chuck was supposed to die 5 years ago, but Death hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.  Here's to 74 more!
by Jake posted Mar 6 2014 6:08PM
When I saw the first Captain America, I was less than impressed.  The CGI was terrible, the story was hokey and not true to the source material.  However, this is more like it...

 
 

A Captain America who is kicking ass and not bothering to take names?  Yes, please.  
by Jake posted Mar 2 2014 2:25PM
This is a bit odd for Seth Rogen, but it's pretty refreshing.  It's his opening statement on C-SPAN for his advocacy for Alzheimer's Disease Research.  It's always good to see the more fortunate folks standing up for a cause they believe in. 

 
 

Full hearing here.
by Jake posted Feb 20 2014 11:58AM
I'm not sure things could get much better than this.  Well done, Jimmy Fallon!

 
 
by Jake posted Feb 19 2014 2:24PM
I consider myself to be on a medium-high level of comic book knowledge.  However, I had no idea who the Guardians of the Galaxy were.  Then I heard the movie was being made with a talking alien tree, a green chick, a normal looking dude, and a raccoon with a heavy trigger finger.  Taken in that context, it sounds really, really stupid.  However, after watching this trailer, I'm in.  It looks fun, entertaining, and Bradley Cooper is voicing said gun-happy raccoon.  What could go wrong?

 
by Jake posted Feb 13 2014 4:27PM
This (coming from an older white man who would typically be on the exact opposite side of this conversation) is awesome. Well done, sir.

 
 
by Jake posted Feb 13 2014 11:23AM
...but my heart's in the right place!  Support me as I jump into freezing cold (literally, the water is frozen) water for the Southern Indiana Special Olympics this Saturday at Deam Lake!  Freezin' for a reason!

This is what Deam Lake looks like right now.  I have to jump into this.  Click the picture and donate to the cause!  Thanks so much!!!

 
by Jake posted Feb 10 2014 2:30PM
Weight lifting motivation over pictures of drinking.  This sums up most of my weekends.  Never give up!

 
by Jake posted Feb 7 2014 11:00AM
I never liked Jay Leno, but this farewell was pretty cool.  On his last night as the Tonight Show host, he was ushered out in style.  There were heavy hitters like Billy Crystal, Jack Black, Chris Paul, and Oprah, among others.  But for some odd reason, the Tonight Show producers thought it was necessary to include Kim Kardashian.  Surprisingly, (he says with heavy sarcasm) her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice which is grating enough to make all the stray cats in L.A. run for the hills was so off key you barely realized she made a big butt joke.  How original.  Wasn't she trying to have a music career?  I believe the following video has rightfully, and thankfully, destroyed all hope of that ridiculous endeavor.
 
by Jake posted Feb 6 2014 3:52PM
So there's a new sensation...sorry Angry Birds.  It's called Flappy Bird.  Here's a backstory - I'm the guy who gets killed by the first mushroom in Mario Bros.  I played this game for about 3 seconds and wanted to throw my phone against a wall.  This meme sums up my experience perfectly. 
 
by Jake posted Jan 30 2014 10:55AM
Ok, here's the thing.  I think Miley Cyrus is a marketing genius.  All the stunts she does, the provacative performances, even her obnoxious, incessant tongue flopping around like Droopy Dog, she forces people to talk about her.  Really, we've made her way more famous than she should be.  Yes, I'm blaming us for her fame.  Here's what I learned about Miley from her MTV Unplugged show.

The next Madonna, she is not.  Madonna was shocking because no one else was doing what she did at that time.  Miley isn't doing anything that hasn't been done before; she's just better at it than most.  This duet bothered me for a couple reasons.  Mostly because Madonna was off key for most of the performance and boring to watch.  My other beef is with what will inevitably be called the, "passing of the torch."  Miley has already claimed to be the next Madonna.  Sweetheart, talk to me in 30 years.  If you're still relevant, I'll consider this possibility.
  YAHOO! Music

I also learned Miley can actually sing.  "Jolene" is my favorite Dolly Parton song.  Yes, I know enough Dolly Parton songs to have a favorite.  (Runner-up would be, "Coat of Many Colors.")  When Miley announced she was about to cover that song my first thought was, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  But as it turned out, she killed it.  
  YAHOO! Music

Let's recap, shall we?  We're responsible for Miley's fame.  She's not the next Madonna.  She can actually sing.  That just about sums it up for me.  But seriously, Miley, keep your tongue in your mouth.  No one needs to see that anymore.

**Droopy Dog photo from PopTen**  

 
by Jake posted Nov 9 2013 3:02PM
I'm really digging the new Eminem album, The Marshall Mathers LP 2.  However, in the song Rap God, Em starts rapping at the speed of light and I have no idea what he's saying.  He's rapping faster than I can listen.  Well played, sir.

 
 
by Jake posted Nov 4 2013 4:11PM
I'm not going to lie, some of these "grind on me" Vines make me a little uncomfortable.  Not because it's mostly high school boys with their shirts off, but because I can't do the move as well as they can.  Until now...eat your heart out, young fellas.  


by Jake posted Oct 31 2013 12:39PM
The original slasher flick, Halloween is the horror movie every other horror movie is compared to and will never live up to.  It is the perfect mix of terror, gore, camp, and awesomeness.  It is a Halloween tradition of mine to watch this movie and it scares me every time.  Of course it helps that I scare like a child left at home alone in the dark.  I'll give you Haddonfield, Illinois is a fairly unobservant town, but come on.  You can't have a good slasher flick if the cops are good at their job and the girls don't trip over everything while running up the stairs instead of out the door...Happy Halloween!!



Courtesy of Giphy
by Jake posted Oct 22 2013 2:49PM
If I ever do get married (I can't believe I said that with a straight face) this is the kind of girl I want to marry.  Good sense of humor, laid back, and knows how to make something awful actually fun.  Engagement photos are never fun for the guy.  No matter what he says.  But if you put a little effort into it, you may find a way to keep him entertained.  Kudos to this girl!

    

All pictures at Yahoo!
by Jake posted Oct 21 2013 2:29PM
Not sure why, but this tickled me.  I especially appreciate the line, "He will be greatly missed."  Some people just have too much time on their hands.  I do miss Breaking Bad, but I'm not sure I'd attend a funeral for its main character.  

 

Full Story at Yahoo!
by Jake posted Oct 18 2013 4:23PM
I've never heard of Anastasia Ashley (evidently she's a pro surfer) but I would love to get to know her better.  And sorry Kim, I think I'm team Anastasia on this one...



Picture Courtesy of TMZ
by Jake posted Oct 18 2013 12:16PM
This pretty much sums me up.  Enjoy!  By the way, I'm really glad I grew into my glasses...



Meme courtesy of OMG Story
by Jake posted Oct 17 2013 12:53PM
I am a huge movie fan and consider myself a bit of a buff.  One of my all-time favorite directors, Wes Anderson (The Royal Tennenbaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox) is releasing his follow up to the critically acclaimed Moonrise Kingdom. There are a few things you can expect from a Wes Anderson movie - razor sharp wit, a star studded cast, and excellent direction.  Below is the trailer for The Grand Budapest Hotel.  Judging from the trailer, it will be another glowing success.  I can't wait! 


Trailer Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures
On Twitter
On Facebook
Event  Calendar
 
 
Recent Posts
Life Hacks: Thanksgiving Leftovers
WATCH: The Official "Jurassic World" Trailer
Coach Rick Pitino Has A Way With Words
A Very Kelly Christmas
Her Impressions, Though...
Tag Cloud
No Tags Found !
Categories
Archives